Loathe and Passion
by happyvibes
Summary: John Egbert is sent to a mental institute to help him cope with his self-harm and clinical depression. He never expected to meet such a strange selection of people in such a dull place, but not everything is as it seems. Through the makings of new friends, enemies, and love affairs, John soon realizes that he must pick between the only two people he truly has left in his life.
1. 1: New Faces

Loathe and Passion

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1: New Faces

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 **DISCLAIMER: Story will include drug/alcohol use, and rating may change if sexual content is included. Story includes ideologically sensitive material and descriptions of mental illnesses and self harm.**

 **Pairings (SO FAR): Karkat/John/Dave, Tavros/Gamzee**

 **AU: HUMAN!STUCK Mental Institution**

 **Characters will be gradually introduced.**

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— John's POV —

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This place gave off nothing but negative vibes. Just like everyone else, I put my pants on one leg at a time. I didn't understand the point of being here. I slipped my backpack straps over my shoulders and gathered my two duffel bags. I had always been a light traveler, but this was my final stop.

The door was abruptly slammed shut as soon as my feet touched the ground, and the vehicle sped away. I tilted my head up, studying the large metallic gate. The gargantuan building looked more like a prison than it did a mental institute.

The tall iron fences surrounded the perimeter fully, blocking it off fully from the rest of society. This was the place where families would abandon all of the unwanted loved ones and relatives that were an "embarrassment" to them. I was about to call this place home for a while.

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— No POV —

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Outdated fluorescent lights flickered from above, and the gray dorm was full of foggy smoke. Just moments ago the bottom half of the bunk bed had stopped creaking, and heavy breaths were the only audible noise. "Fuck... I'm so stoned, Tav."

"I can't believe we didn't wake Karkat up." A petite brunette giggled out, quickly covering his mouth with his hand to prevent himself from laughing. Their panting ceased, and Gamzee managed to grin.

"He could sleep through a hurricane." The tall ebony haired male murmured softly, adjusting a thick multicolored quilt over their chilly bodies. It was blissfully silent once again besides the speedy flick of a lighter.

The dorm was currently occupied by only three individuals. Two of the three were basically soulmates. They were closer than close.

Gamzee Makara was a "problem child". He was dropped off at the facility at the tender age of fourteen due to his "behavioral issues". He was on the streets nearly everyday, meeting strangers to earn his pay. His family's feelings or opinions towards him did not phase him, let alone convince him that what he was doing was wrong. Gamzee Makara had only three things that he truly cared about in this world: His precious Tavros, his Faygo, and his drugs.

The second unlucky culprit of this situation was a tenderhearted teenage boy named Tavros Nitram. How would such a sweet, innocent, promising kid end up in a place like this, you may ask. Tavros has had a life of despair. Despite his many "experiences" with his previous adoptive family, he managed to open up to Gamzee. A certain look, a type of touch, or even a simple phrase could send him into a panic. He didn't want to remember any of it. When he remembered what happened to him, he could feel nothing but emotionally numbing pain race through his body like lightening. Luckily, he had met someone like Gamzee that had earned his trust somewhat.

Lastly, we have the one and only Karkat Vantas. There isn't much to say about Karkat. He was your average, everyday teenager. All was normal with him besides the fact that he had a raging case of mood swings. If it helps this scenario make sense, he could go from crying to laughing in a matter of seconds. He didn't think of this hellhole as a place to help him heal and cope; Instead, he thought of it as a place to be left behind. He had always felt as though he deserved to be left behind. A part of Karkat didn't give a shit how anybody felt about him, but the other part couldn't bear to be abandoned.

Smoke filled the small space once again, and the two teenagers pulled each other into an embrace. "You're so warm..." Gamzee whispered, nuzzling his boyfriend lovingly, then inhaling sharply on his cigarette.

The door opened slowly, and a new face could be seen. "Jesus! Have you ever heard of knocking?!" Gamzee growled, jerking the blankets further over he and his significant other.

"I'm sorry! I had no idea... This is where they told me to go... I'm new here." The black haired boy exclaimed timidly, raking his messy hair away from his face and shutting the door as he entered.

Beneath the sheets, the two males slipped on their clothing on piece by piece. "It's okay. My name is Tavros, what's your name?" The brunette questioned kindly, sitting up on his boyfriend's lap and giving the new kid a friendly grin.

"John Egbert. It's nice to meet you." The boy in front of the wooden door replied, dropping his bags on the ground and examining the unfamiliar individual that began to rise from his top bunk.

"Who the hell is that?" Karkat grumbled, rubbing his dark, sleepy eyes. His vision was currently a giant spinning blur since he had just woken up. All he could really make out was the guy with weird teeth and thick glasses standing beneath him.

"My name is John... I'm sorry I woke you up. I'm your new roommate." John answered shyly, glancing up at the angry shirtless boy he would be sharing a bed with. He had messy waves of black hair, and a forever exhausted look upon his face. John used to be such an outgoing, friendly, do-it-all type. These days, though, he was far from that.

"His name is Karkat. My name is Gamzee. Karkat can be an asshole when he wakes up. Honestly, he can be an asshole anytime." Gamzee chuckled out, sticking up two long middle fingers towards the male on the top bunk across from him.

"Fuck off dude. Anyways, welcome to hell. I'm just going to be brutally honest before your feelings get hurt; This place is basically prison. It sucks dick. The people are rude, the staff are rude, the food will give you diarrhea for weeks, and it's boring as shit. There you go. Have a nice time." Karkat spat out, rolling over onto his side and yanking the sheets over himself once again.

John frowned, tugging the sleeves of his dark hoodie down and pushing his duffel bags and backpack towards the side of his bunk. "Don't listen to him. As long as you can make friends, you'll be just fine here. If nothing else, you have Gamzee and I." Tavros stated reassuringly, giving John the most sincere smile he had ever witnessed.

Suddenly, a loud, shrill voice could be heard speaking out from an intercom above. "Good evening fellow patients! We will be having a mandatory meeting in the auditorium following breakfast. See you there!"

"What am I supposed to do?" John whined out anxiously. He let out a sigh of protest as Gamzee put out his cigarette, then began to gather some clothing out from under his bunk.

"Just make sure that you're dressed and that you've eaten breakfast before you go. You have about an hour and thirty minutes to do all that, so you'll be okay." Tavros explained, grabbing up some of his clothing from a wardrobe between the two bunk beds. John nodded, speedily grabbing a clean folded outfit from his blue duffel bag.

He peered up briefly at a hanging clock above the wooden door to be sure he could keep track of time, then dashed out into the corridor to find the showers.

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— John's POV —

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This was possibly the most uncomfortable, and most erotic moment of my life. I had never imagined, or expected to share shower area with a bunch of strangers, let alone be beside of them. I thanked every god above that there were thin white curtains and moldy white brick walls that gave us all some privacy.

Just knowing that some guy was beside of me singing and probably washing his privates while doing so made me want to cry. I directed my attention towards a random bar of soap that glided underneath a stall-like wall that kept us separated, and into my occupied space. I raised my eyebrows curiously, then simply kicked it in a different direction.

"Weird..." I muttered, splashing some hot water on my face and rinsing off thoroughly. My body burnt. It wasn't as excruciating as it previously was when I used to live with my foster family, but ever since then, whenever the steaming water seeped into my wounds, I felt every single drop scorching my skin. I thought I would be able to stop inflicting so much pain on myself. I thought I could be normal again. I was entirely wrong.

My wet feet pattered across the moldy tile beneath me as I exited the shower and wrapped myself up with a thick towel. The scent of the surrounding area was so pungent, and the additional scent of mold only worsened it. I groaned quietly, grabbing my toothbrush from a small blue caddy I had carried my hygiene products in and proceeding to brush my teeth thoroughly.

I finally caught a glimpse of the singing guy that I presumed was beside of me once he exited his shower. I blushed immensely, just wanting to erase the image of the naked stranger from my head forever. I examined him as he brushed his glorious blonde locks back neatly with a simple hairbrush. His hair also had one large purple streak that he combed back as well, and he slipped a pair of simple glasses onto his seemingly flawless face.

I snapped back to reality once I recognized Karkat's screaming voice coming from another shower. I shook my head in surprise, watching as all of the action unfolded. "Eridan, you motherfucker, you took the last towel! Go get me a fucking towel!"

"Just a minute, I'm working on my hair! You're not going to drown!" Eridan, as his name had been revealed, retorted. He continued applying subtle amounts of gel and spray to his hair as he brushed through it, humming to himself despite Karkat's insults and protests.

"I'll take care of it." I stated softly, smiling friendlily up at him once he gave me a nod. I tiptoed carefully to the other side of the restroom to grab a clean towel from a tall plastic shelf. I grasped one firmly in my hands and walked cautiously across the soaked tile and towards Karkat's shower. "Here Karkat, I got your towel." I announced, attempting to reach it through the curtain.

With the horrible that I possessed, I ultimately slipped at the speed of light and tried to catch myself on the metallic bars attached to the white walls, but it was too late. I was a slipping, sliding, wallering mess.

Karkat was behind me, trying desperately to grab me and balance me, but ended up splashing water everywhere and losing his own balance. We both toppled sloppily to the disgusting moldy tile below.

I landed on top of him, and studied the flushed apples of his cheeks, and his surprised expression. "What the fuck are you waiting for?! Get off of me!" He screamed, slinging the damp towel out of the shower and standing up quickly.

"I'm sorry!" I whimpered out, cuffing my hands over my mouth as I shook my head in denial. My eyes watered in disbelief of what had just happened. I sat in an almost fatal position on the shower floor, somewhat relieved that the dripping water was disguising my tears.

I was mortified, and I was almost positive that I had accidentally opened up a healing cut once I had made contact with the ground. Karkat's eyes suddenly widened to an abnormal size as he rushed to my side, holding one of my arms up.

"Oh fuck..." He gasped out, examining my long lines of both self harm scars and fresh wounds. Blood was trickling down heavily towards the wet floor and dissolving in with the tile and the water. How could I explain this to him?

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Hi! This is my first Homestuck story. I read the comic a few years ago and recently I have just began to gather some ideas in order to write a good story for you guys. Anyways, please follow, favorite, and review to show your support so I can begin to write chapter two. Thank you so much, I hope you enjoyed it so far!


	2. 2: The Table

Loathe and Passion

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2: The Table

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 **DISCLAIMER: Story will include drug/alcohol use, and rating may change if sexual content is included. Story includes ideologically sensitive material and descriptions of mental illnesses and self harm.**

 **Pairings (SO FAR): Karkat/John/Dave, Tavros/Gamzee**

 **AU: HUMAN!STUCK Mental Institution**

 **Characters will be gradually introduced.**

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— John's POV —

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Karkat rushed me out of the restroom, wrapping my bleeding arm with a cool wet cloth to restrict blood flow. We wandered through the almost empty corridor, shielding our naked bodies with damp towels. My wet hair clung to my forehead and to the back of my neck, slapping against the chilly wet skin as we rocketed into the dorm. "I'm so sorry about that..." I said softly, staring at the ground shamefully.

Karkat shook his head, grabbing a cardboard box from a drawer attached to the shared wardrobe. He had a serious look upon his face that I couldn't quite comprehend, and it made me somewhat anxious. "It's fine. Sit down and let me look at your arm." He directed, pointing towards the unoccupied bottom bunk of his bed. Gamzee and Tavros had previously left while we were in the showers, leaving us alone in the closed off dorm.

I reluctantly complied, tucking the towel underneath me securely as I plopped onto the neatly made bed. It was my first day and I had already messed up and made a complete fool of myself in front of my roommate, and some complete stranger. I held my arm out firmly, wincing as he carefully unwrapped the heavily bleeding injury. "I never understood the point of doing this bullshit." He mumbled under his breath, opening up the small box and grabbing a few miscellaneous medical items. I frowned, mentally hurting from that statement, but shrugging it off as to not displease Karkat. Then, I suddenly realized that I had not only opened up one healing cut, but at least four of them.

"This might hurt." He warned, gripping a bottle of medicinal spray and shaking it up. I closed my eyes and bit down on my lip, blushing when I felt Karkat quickly reach for my hand to hold my arm in place. Strange smelling mist scattered through the air, and I let out a silent whine as the disinfectant spray made contact with the open wounds. As the stinging pain faded away, I felt the cold wet cloth wiping away any blood or residue from my arm, then a sudden appliance of bandages.

"Thank you..." I whispered shyly, tilting my head up to look into his seemingly lifeless eyes. A million thoughts rushed through my head. Why would someone like Karkat care enough to do something like this for me? I was just some weird new kid. I was nothing but an acquaintance of his, after all. Karkat turned away from me, not speaking as he began to gather some clothing.

I let out an uneasy breath as I dropped my wet towel and slipped my underwear on while he was occupied. We tossed our clothing on piece by piece until we were fully dressed, and I raked my fingers through my freshly clean black strands to straighten them out. "Are you going to eat breakfast, or are you one of those people who starve themselves?" Karkat questioned casually, as if what he had just said wasn't offensive.

I had the most quizzical look upon my face, and I could feel it. Finally, I mustered the courage to speak back to him. "Yes, I eat. Anorexia isn't something you can just make fun of." I answered, applying the rest of my hygiene products and organizing them in the blue caddy I had pushed under the bed.

He shrugged his shoulders casually, then slipped a black hoodie over his head and pushed his arms through the sleeves. "I'll see you." He muttered, tucking his hands into his pockets and maneuvering out of the door. I had never felt this confused.

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— No POV —

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"This blows." A blonde male grumbled, examining his breakfast platter. Bacon, eggs, two pieces of toast, and a plastic cup full of orange juice. He immediately went towards the trash bin, tossing his food away and strolling in the direction of a certain table. This seemingly rude individual would be named Dave Strider.

Dave had been a patient at the institute for about two years now after the horrible experiences he was forced to face in his younger years. He had lost almost all hope in life itself, and he had completely lost trust for other individuals. Dave made friends easily, but he still resented to become close. He had one focus; he wanted to be something. He wanted to be noticed. Dave longed to be the cool kid.

"Aradia, give me a drink of your soda. I can smell it." A blind female ordered, reaching across the table and brushing her fingers along the edge of the condensation coated can.

"Go ahead and take it. I don't want it." Aradia answered, pulling her long black hair away from her boney shoulders. Aradia has faced many hardships in her life; one of those being associated with a basic human necessity: food.

Aradia had avoided nutrition for as long as she could remember. She just never felt the urge, or even the need to indulge herself in something she felt could only harm her body and sense of self worth. Aradia still pushed it away.

The large circular table where she had sat every morning for seven years had gradually become a meeting place for a few other individuals. One of which was a blind girl named Terezi Pyrope.

Terezi was somewhat insane, but it was manageable unless she was provoked to the point of mental breakage. Terezi was completely blind, but used her senses to guide her. She could obviously still smell, touch, taste, and hear, and that's what gave her the courage and will to continue living.

Dave plopped onto a stool, crossing his arms over the surface of the table and turning to look at a lovely blonde female that occupied the seat beside of him. She pushed her hair away from her face and applied some coral colored lipstick, checking for any imperfections in the reflection of her aluminum soda can. Her name was Rose LaLonde. Rose and Dave had grown very close over the time they had known each other, and she was by far the only person he relied on or even trusted.

Rose was an easygoing, relaxed individual, until she was introduced to any type of liquor. Rose was ultimately upset that she was sent to a mental institution for "alcoholism", or for what she claimed as "taking a few shots and having a good time". There was nothing more settling than a numb body and a cleansed mind.

John finally managed to locate the cafeteria, and tugged the sleeves of his gray sweater down. He was very awkward, shy, and overall timid. The only way to summarize this experience was to say it was absolutely terrifying.

All of the teenage patients turned in their designated seats to stare at him as soon as he entered the room and began to whisper to one another. John hated being the new kid with every fiber of his being.

He tried to act as casual as possible as he pushed his glasses up on his pert nose, then started rushing towards the warmer and much more welcoming lunch line.

Tavros frowned sympathetically for John from his spot at the circular table, leaning against Gamzee weakly. "He's a little bit scared. It's his first day, give him some time baby." Gamzee whispered, pecking Tavros's temple and taking a long drink of his Faygo.

John coincidentally crossed paths with Karkat once again as the cooks passed them their trays, and followed him towards the end of the line. "Karkat... I don't know where to go or what to do... Do you mind if I sit with you? I'm sorry if I'm annoying you or asking too much, I don't mind finding somewhere else." John blabbered aimlessly, typing in a special code on a computer to confirm that he had eaten that morning.

Karkat furrowed his eyebrows as he waited patiently for John in the middle of the spacious area. "I don't sit alone, but I guess you can get to know them. Follow me." Karkat ordered, walking towards the occupied table. He dropped his tray on the table and took a seat, patting the stool beside of him for John. The ebony-haired boy sat down nervously, staring down intensely at his food as he tried to avoid any criticism or rude remarks.

"Is someone new here?" Terezi questioned, sniffing around in the air, then pointing a painted fingernail in John's direction. John's eyes widened when he realized that the strange female was totally blind and had literally just sniffed him out like an animal.

"My name is John. I'm new, like you said." John responded kindly, reaching out and quickly shaking her petite hand. She nodded, pulling her hand back and smiling sheepishly. "Welcome to our home." She replied, gripping her soda can and taking a sip.

John was truly surprised that she was so intuitive and socially interactive to have no remaining vision. Dave turned his head and pushed his sunglasses up further on the bridge of his nose, disguising the direction of his pupils as he studied the new kid. He was a physical breath taker, that was for sure. His skin was an icy pale shade, and he had messy, but clean black hair that was scattered around here and there.

Those factors were simply amazing, but what truly took Dave's breath away was his round oceanic blue eyes that seemed too big for his face. He blushed immensely, and predictably tried to play it cool by fanning himself as if the temperature of the room had rose. Dave had a sudden feeling that things were about to change in this institute. He also had a feeling that things were going to change for him as well.

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Hi guys! I finally got this chapter done. If you enjoyed it and are interested in a new chapter, please follow, favorite, and review. Thank you so much!


	3. 3: Trouble in Paradise

Loathe and Passion

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3: Trouble In Paradise

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 **DISCLAIMER: Story will include drug/alcohol use, and rating may change if sexual content is included. Story includes ideologically sensitive material and descriptions of mental illnesses and self harm.**

 **Pairings (SO FAR): Karkat/John/Dave, Tavros/Gamzee**

 **AU: HUMAN!STUCK Mental Institution**

 **Characters will be gradually introduced.**

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— No POV —

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"Vriska and her motherfucking intercom..." Gamzee murmured, rolling his eyes as a familiar tone beeped from all of the surrounding speakers. The cafeteria quietened down significantly, and her voice finally came through.

"All patients please report to the auditorium at this time. Thank you!"

John tossed his tray away into a garbage bin located behind the table, then quickly stood up. "I don't know where that's at..." He announced nervously, shuffling his feet as he usually did when he was worried.

"I'll show you." Dave suddenly volunteered, standing proudly in the middle of the sloppy circle that he and his friends had created in front of some vending machines.

"I'm smoking. You coming Dave?" Gamzee asked, patting his front and back pockets to assure himself that he did in fact have his cigarettes and his beloved red lighter. Tavros was still in his arms as always, half asleep and struggling to keep his eyes open.

"Sure. Come on John, I'll make it fast." Dave pointed out, adjusting his sunglasses once again and flipping his hair away from his forehead. John, being the timid teenager he was, nodded slowly, following the group outside.

There was an open space between the main building and the building where the auditorium was located that was intended for peaceful evenings, picnics, and fresh air. But the truth of the matter was that it was usually where patients would come to smoke and associate themselves with drug deals.

Gamzee's breath turned to fog due to the cold morning air, but nonetheless he proceeded to light himself a cigarette. Rose stood beside of Tavros, lighting up her own cigarette and flicking her ash onto the icy concrete.

John continued to stand there awkwardly, immediately feeling as though this was a bad idea. He knew he didn't belong amongst these people; But he had nowhere else to go. Dave snatched the cigarette from Rose's fingertips and pressed it towards his lips.

John bit down on his lower lip to prevent any words from escaping. He turned his head when he heard footsteps, examining a new addition to the group. "Hey Sollux, you still up for meeting up in our dorm tonight? I have a bag worth twenty if you're interested." Gamzee questioned, raking his fingers through his messy hair as the wind began to blow and cause it to disfigure itself.

"I guess." The other boy agreed, cuffing a hand around his cigarette to block the wind from his lighter. Sollux Captor didn't believe that he had any problems. At first, he believed it was simple insomnia and that his body just wasn't ready to sleep.

As time passed without any type of rest, he began to see and hear things that were only pigments of his imagination due to his lack of rest. The only way to make the horrifying images disappear was to lay down in his bed and close his eyes. To this day, Sollux still tries to sleep, but fails miserably.

John's sight was focused on Sollux as he continued speaking with his regular lisp. "What's this thing in the auditorium about?" He wondered, allowing smoke to seep from his mouth and nostrils as he spoke. Gamzee furrowed his eyebrows and stomped the fire out on his cigarette.

"I don't know. We better get going before they notice we're not fucking there." Gamzee replied, taking Tavros's hand into his own as he began to shuffle hazily towards the building. Dave tossed he and Rose's finished cigarette to the concrete, then pressed the bottom of his converse towards the fire.

"Um... Are you ready to go?" John stammered out, dusting himself off and quickly gazing up at the sky. Dave put an arm around John's shoulder in both a flirtatious and a friendly fashion, leading him towards the white brick building.

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— John's POV —

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Dave directed me towards the large rows of plush seats, and scooted into a certain row. I crossed my ankles once I had sat down, and tucked my hands into the sleeves of my sweater.

"These are usually really fucking boring. A girl named Vriska usually does the announcements and all of that stuff because she's so loud." Dave explained, placing his elbows on the arm rests. The auditorium filled with chatter, crying, and maniacal laughter.

I was uncomfortable already, and I was also ready to return to my dorm and just sleep this day away. Tavros sat on my other side, smiling sweetly at me.

"So... How's your day been so far?" He questioned, squeezing Gamzee's much larger hand once they had settled down in their seats.

"It's been okay." I replied, raking my fingers through my messy hair and taking my attention towards the stage as a female stepped out with a microphone. She appeared to be odd, but I pushed my thoughts aside. I didn't judge books by their covers.

"That's Vriska Serket. She's a patient, but has privileges because she doesn't act up as much as we do. Part of me thinks that the staff favors her." Tavros whispered, since the room had become almost silent.

The girl cleared her throat into the mic, standing pridefully in front of the large crowd. She had a skinny body type, with long black hair that slowly faded to a dark blue. She was also very pale, with black glasses in a square frame, and messily applied makeup.

"Why is she here?" I pondered in an equally quiet tone, starting to chew on my nails; A typical nervous habit of mine.

"She did some bad things... I think she's kind of crazy." Tavros answered, leaning back in his seat and closing his eyes sleepily. I let out a soft breath and blinked rapidly, trying to keep myself awake through Vriska's boring speech.

I was somewhat annoyed that Tavros was falling asleep and left me no one to socialize with. That was my mindset; Until Dave started speaking.

"John... After this is over, do you want to hang out tonight? It should be good." He asked, leaning forward in his seat and giving me a relaxed smile. I had a decision to make... -

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— No POV —

* * *

 _That Evening..._

"Dave... Where are we?" John pondered, trying to tiptoe across the linoleum flooring that made his footsteps echo.

"My hangout. This is supposed to be for physical therapy, but I like to come down here at night when no ones around." Dave explained, sticking his hands into the fuzzy interior of his hoodie pocket.

A faint light glimmered against the swimming pool, creating sparkles across the surface of the water. A single hanging light was shining from above, making the space just bright enough to see.

The pool room was surrounded by metallic bars to help patients walk, and had a few seats and recliners to relax on. "Come sit down." Dave suggested, strutting off towards the area where the deep end of the pool was located.

John shrugged, following behind him as he usually did. They sat side-by-side on the edge of the pool, crossing their legs and staring at the moonlight's reflection against the water. It was quiet for a moment, until John reluctantly decided to break the silent tension. "Why do you even come down here?" The raven-haired teenager questioned, raking his fingers through his hair and adjusting his glasses.

"So I can do this!" Dave exclaimed, pushing John into the water playfully, not realizing what he had accidentally done. John began to sink to the bottom, rolling helplessly in the water. He had no idea how to swim, and was holding his breath. Dave's eyes widened, and he dove into the water to rescue him.

John's glasses slipped off of his face, leaving him almost blind in the dark water. He could feel his lungs ache, and the air that he had saved unintentionally slip out from between his lips. Dave swam towards him at the speed of light, wrapping his arms around him as tightly as he could so he wouldn't lose him again.

He allowed himself to sink to the bottom, then pushed himself up towards the surface with force. Finally, once they reached the surface, John took in a deep breath, giving Dave a sinister glare as he began to cough loudly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know that you couldn't fucking swim... Are you okay?" Dave questioned, stroking John's cheek with one hand as he began to navigate them towards the middle area of the swimming pool where they could stand.

"I lost my glasses and could have died, but other than that I'm great!" John retorted sarcastically, then proceeded to shove Dave away playfully.

Dave simply shook his head and smiled, then folded his sunglasses and pushed them aside. John immediately blushed, examining Dave's handsome physique as he started to remove his clothing items piece by piece. "I'll get your glasses under one condition..." Dave began, placing his shoes on the side of the pool before he continued to speak. "You have to stay in here with me and loosen up."

John's eyes widened in shock, and he immediately shook his head with refusal visible in his facial expression. "No, we can't stay in here!" John protested, clinging to a metal bar for support.

"I'll teach you how to swim. It'll be fun. You have to stop being so goddamn scared of everything." Dave spat out, removing his pants lastly, leaving him in nothing but his underwear. John let out a deep sigh of reluctance and anxiety, but made the sudden decision to tough it out. Maybe this would be good for him. Dave Strider was, after all, a nice, funny, playful guy. This could be his chance to bond more closely with his newfound friend. The last thing he needed was someone to turn on him.

John removed his sweater and tossed it aside, hiding his scarred and healing arms underneath the water. He undid his damp jeans and pulled them off with ease, tossing them aside. Once John had did away with his shoes and socks, he was good to go. "Come here. We're going to find your glasses." Dave stated, holding his hand out for John.

John's eyes widened, and he gulped, wading his way towards Dave with fear in his eyes. The water rippled around them once they were face to face, and Dave entwined fingers with John.

"I'm going to pull you under. Hold your breath and kick your legs. Move your arms with me so we can feel around for your glasses. Okay? Don't be scared, I've got you." The blonde male reassured, stepping onto the sinking edge of the deep end.

"I'm ready when you are." John replied, squeezing Dave's hand and taking in a gargantuan gulp of air. Dave dove down into the murky dark waters, pulling John along behind him until he began to kick his legs.

They left a trail of bubbles that floated to the surface as they descended deeper, pushing their bodies against the force of the water. Dave felt around for John's glasses on the tile flooring of the pool, pulling him in a different direction.

John swam alongside Dave, squeezing his hand tightly so he knew that he wouldn't be released. Dave finally felt them and gripped them tightly with his free hand. He kicked off from the tile below, kicking his legs in order to reach the surface. As soon as he and John's heads were out of the water, they breathed heavily in unison.

Dave placed John's glasses on the side of the pool, and pulled the shy teenager closer. "Dave... I barely know you. I think we should just go back to our rooms." John murmured, staring off at a painting on the wall as they continued to kick their legs to keep themselves above the surface.

"No... Let's stay here for a little while. Nobody is even going to know we're gone." Dave pleaded, staring into John's eyes fearlessly. John sighed, being the type to give into peer pressure easily. He was never blessed with the skill of saying no or turning opportunities down.

"Alright..." John whispered softly, taking both of Dave's hands and allowing the blonde to pull him further under the water once again. Dave opened his eyes, despite the burning sensation from the chemicals in the water. He studied John, just admiring the way his ebony hair floated in the water and the way he didn't have to move as swiftly to support himself.

Karkat peered from around a corner, shaking his head. Unlike everyone else, he noticed that John had never returned that night. Karkat rarely, very rarely, worried about people. But there was just something about John Egbert that made him feel defensive. Something in him had changed. He wanted to keep John safe.

He couldn't bare to see him in pain, whether it be physical or mental. He had come to the conclusion that he had probably lost any chances of getting to know John to Dave. He was aware that Dave spent a lot of time here, so he predicted that John would be here with the blonde wannabe. His eyes shot open in shock, and he speedily backed up once the two reached the surface.

Dave pulled John into his arms fully, making continual eye contact with him as he slowly leaned closer. John's cheeks flared, his heart pounded, and he got complete chills. Was he really going to go through with this? He was going to go through with it. John finally built up his courage and leaned closer, locking lips with Dave passionately. Dave closed his eyes, playing it cool as he trailed his hands down John's sides until they reached his hips, squeezing the delicate skin in his hands.

Karkat felt a mix of unusual emotions. He was mentally and physically hurting. His heart pounded painfully fast, yet sunk in his chest. He backed away fully until he reached the exit, just wishing he could erase the image of John and Dave kissing like that from his head forever. Then again, Karkat was used to abandonment.

* * *

Hi guys! I finally got this story updated. I believe this may be the longest chapter yet! Please follow, favorite, and review for the next chapter. Thank you so much!


	4. 4: Reality Check

Loathe and Passion

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4: Reality Check

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER: Story will include drug/alcohol use, and rating may change if sexual content is included. Story includes ideologically sensitive material and descriptions of mental illnesses and self harm.**

 **Pairings (SO FAR): Karkat/John, Tavros/Gamzee**

 **AU: HUMAN!STUCK Mental Institution**

 **Characters will be gradually introduced.**

* * *

— No POV —

* * *

The door to the occupied dorm creaked open, and Gamzee stood there, obviously far from sober. He had this certain grin spread across his face that just screamed "I'm intoxicated".

Dave strutted in with freshly dried hair and his damp clothing hanging loosely off of his skinny body. John was basically in the same state. Karkat was on his top bunk, rolling his eyes as more people began to enter.

"Come in, come in." Gamzee muttered, pulling the door open fully and holding out an arm to shake everyone's hands. John shook it swiftly and took a seat on his bed. Dave joined him, putting an arm around John's shoulders and examining the few individuals in the room.

"So... Who gets the first puff?" Dave questioned, smiling towards the boy beside of him.

"I don't drink or smoke..." John stated shyly, tugging the sleeves of his sweater down and leaning into Dave's embrace.

"Just try it, just this once. It'll help you so much." Dave bribed, winking in Gamzee's direction as he began to dig underneath his messy bed.

"Don't worry, I don't smoke or drink either. It's just not for me." Tavros said reassuringly, giving John a kind gesture through his sweet smile.

Gamzee pulled out a tall purple bong with circular decals and placed it on his lap. "It's so motherfucking hard to hide this. I had to rip up some of the floorboards in order for me to hide the damn thing." He muttered, taking in a whiff of the scent protruding from the pipe.

"Are we gonna draw a name on who smokes it first?" Sollux asked, crossing his legs on the hardwood flooring next to Aradia and Terezi.

"John's name isn't in it yet. Hold on." Gamzee responded, rambling through the drawer of his bedside table for the jar full of names and some stationary to write the new kid's name down.

"You don't have to write my name. I don't do this stuff." John mumbled, becoming agitated from the peer pressure. He had never been introduced to drugs until he arrived at this place, and to him, it was somewhat scary. What if they were to get caught?

"Just give it a fucking go. It's on the house." Gamzee laughed out, placing John's name into the jar and shaking it up thoroughly.

John sighed, realizing he wasn't going to win this battle. There was no resisting anything when it came to these people. Either way, just trying it one time couldn't hurt, could it?

The entire room was silent as Gamzee unscrewed the lid from the jar and dug his hand inside. He closed his eyes temporarily until he freed a small piece of paper, then opened them once again to study the name.

"John, it's your lucky day! You get to smoke the first bowl." He suddenly exclaimed, passing a lighter towards Dave and quickly placing the bong on John's lap. John's eyes widened as he examined the drug beneath him. Could he honestly allow himself to go through with this? He had no other way out. He mentally slapped himself for getting into this situation. There was no going back now.

"Put your lips over the top and when Dave lights it, inhale as hard as you can and don't stop." Gamzee directed, watching with total and utter amusement as John cuffed his hands around the bong and leaned down to press his lips against the top.

He was terrified in a way, but it was too late to back out now. He cleared all of the negative thoughts from his head, just reminding himself that since he was a first time smoker that it would leave his body quickly. He wasn't quite sure what he was getting himself into.

* * *

It wasn't too long after John had finished smoked the substance that he had started drinking as well and was barely conscious. He didn't even know he was out of his head, because he only had one thing on his mind.

He turned his head, glancing into Dave's bloodshot eyes through his tinted sunglasses. Dave gave him a certain type of look that seemed to set him off in a way. Karkat remained stable in his bed above them, crossing his arms behind his head.

A million thoughts were racing through his head. He just couldn't stop thinking about the way Dave was caressing John's cheek and kissing him so passionately when he had caught them in the pool that evening. He was worried. Would John be okay? Was Dave going to take advantage of of him?

Karkat knew that John could barely move or talk to protest. In fact, he was so far from sober, he wouldn't be surprised if John didn't object at all. It wasn't his business anymore anyways... He had lost his only chance. But in the back of his head, he knew that he would end up making John's safety and well-being his business no matter what.

Gamzee and Tavros were already making out on their bed, while the other guests sat around in a half-circle formation. They took turns drinking the alcoholic mixture out of a tall glass bottle, discussing random topics and laughing their asses off.

John felt as though he had drifted away from the reality that still surrounded him. The room was a spinning blur. He couldn't remember how he ended up here or who he was with. He wanted to go home so desperately.

"John... Let's go." Dave urged, leaning over to kiss his cheek softly. Just that single action by Dave sent multiple chills down John's spine. He stood up instantaneously, almost bumping his head on the support for the top bunk.

He barely dodged it, and wobbled helplessly as he stood. Dave was laughing at him, but it went through one ear and right out the other. John felt for the doorknob, allowing the experienced Dave to pull it open for him instead. John knew that tonight was going to be memorable, but he was yet to see how.

* * *

— John's POV —

* * *

That was my first kiss. I couldn't say that it was the best moment of my life, but it was pretty high up on my list of what I knew would be my best memories. I did have feelings for Dave Strider, whether I liked it or not. I had no choice.

I squeezed his hand tightly, allowing him to lead us down the empty corridor. There was a single sleeping security guard at his desk, still holding an open book in one hand and a set of keys in the other. I wanted to laugh at the cliché scene, but I refrained from doing so. This wasn't a laughing situation.

This was more of a "sex on the first date" type of situation. There was no backing out now, and honestly, I wasn't completely sure if I was reluctant at all. Dave reached over the wooden desk carefully, gripping the set of keys from the heavyset security guard's free hand. He eased them away from the man and into his own fingers instead. He stuck the keys into his pocket and adjusted the sunglasses on his face.

I smiled sheepishly towards him, even though I was literally sensing the tension growing between us. He unlocked his dorm with the keys, then closed the door once we had stepped inside.

Almost instantaneously, he dropped his loose-fitting jeans and underwear from around his hips, then held his arms out somewhat. I knew my cheeks were as red as tomatoes, but I managed to disguise it by glancing down towards his legs. His hands slapped as they landed against his sides, and he finally confronted me.

"You don't have to be nervous." Dave said softly, then started reaching for my hands. I tried my hardest not to hyperventilate as my heartbeat accelerated in his presence. Dave suddenly changed his mind, and curled his fingers underneath the folds of my jeans and underwear. He loosened them until they dropped effortlessly to my skinny ankles.

I couldn't avoid the sense of longing once I had already started feeling his hands wander past my waist, and his forehead press against mine. Part of me just ached for him. Another part of me couldn't fathom that someone actually wanted me.

"I don't think we should do this. We just met... I've never been in a relationship. I don't even know what I want yet." I explained aimlessly, not entirely sure what I was saying. All that I was aware of was the way I was trembling as I spoke. I had never felt such a strong sense of dread.

"It's okay. I already know what I want." He whispered against my ear, gliding the wet surface of his tongue across the warm skin. I shuddered, wrapping my arms around his neck and allowing him to maneuver us towards his bed. He had already straddled himself on top of me as soon as I had laid down, then he leaned down, locking lips with me.

I wasn't sure how this had happened, how I had ended up here, and why he wanted anything to do with me. His skin against mine, our fingers entwined, and the sensation of his lips brushing against mine gave me a sudden feeling of passion that I had never experienced. I didn't care about anything else.

I suddenly realized, along with the sense of passion, that I really wasn't prepared for this, mentally or physically. I was just high, or drunk, or both. I didn't really want this, did I? My mindset was fifty percent horny, and fifty percent terrified. I was the anxious type, and immediately knew which side I was going to choose.

"Dave... I don't want to do this yet. I want to take things slow." I blurted out, jerking my hands away from his and resting them upon his shoulders. Dave sighed, leaning down to kiss my forehead.

"I told you not to be scared. I won't hurt you." He whispered against my skin, trailing his hands down towards my abdomen.

Suddenly, the door slammed open, and Karkat stood there with an absolutely shocked, yet outraged look upon his face. "What the fuck? Seriously!? You two aren't even fucking dating. You've only known each other for a day. I hope you're damn proud of what you're doing Strider. You know he's shitfaced and you're taking advantage of it." Karkat spat out, pointing at me.

Was I really so shitfaced I was willing to let this guy have sex with me? Perhaps so, but I wanted to leave with Karkat. I wasn't ready for big commitments and mistakes I couldn't return. I slid out from underneath Dave, wandering around until I felt Karkat wrapping a long blanket around my shoulders securely and putting an arm around my waist.

"God damn. You're always in my business. I wasn't taking fucking advantage of him if he was kissing me back and feeling me up." Dave retorted, sitting up on the bed and removing his sunglasses in order to see in the dark space.

"He is my fucking business when he can't think straight! He doesn't know that he's doing that shit!" Karkat growled protectively, backing up towards the door with me in his arms.

"He's my fucking boyfriend, and I'll be damned if he leaves with your creepy ass." Dave insulted, pulling his underwear on and confronting Karkat and I. Dave gripped my arm, pulling me in the opposite direction while Karkat tugged back equally as hard.

Dave and I weren't officially dating. He was a funny, cool guy, but I wasn't sure if I was ready for a relationship with him. Karkat and I were definitely not dating.

Karkat and I had too many differences. He was a little too blunt and rude for my liking, but a part of me could sense that he did have caring soul. Set aside from his hateful mindset and dominant attitude, I believed he had a loving heart.

"He's going with me, so you might as well let him go." Karkat hissed, jerking me back into his arms. I tumbled into the security of his embrace, breathing in his musky scent on impact. I was somewhat scared for everyone's safety, so I decided to try to speak once again.

"I think I'm just gonna go with Karkat to the dorm. It's nothing against you, Dave, but tonight's been eventful enough for me. I need to get some sleep and sober up, you know? I'll see you tomorrow." I stated calmly, allowing Karkat to push the door open and lead me into the corridor once again.

I looked over my shoulder, examining the absolute rage in Dave's facial expression. Karkat let out a tired breath, shutting the door firmly behind us. "What the fuck were you thinking?" He murmured softly in his stern voice, as to not wake the sleeping guard.

"I don't know... I'm sorry Karkat..." I whispered back, feeling my eyes begin to water. I could barely handle lectures or being told what I was doing was wrong. It made me feel even more like a useless, sad excuse for a human being. I already wanted to die, and having guilt placed on me only strengthened the negative emotions I kept inside.

Instead of our dorm, he navigated us towards the bathroom. He shut the door behind him quietly, and turned the lights on for me. "Splash your face with cold water. It'll help you sober up." He directed, leaning his body against the wall of a nearby shower stall.

I quickly pulled my towel into place, tucking a fold between my body and the cloth so it would remain in place. I then leaned over the sink and turned the silver knob, splashing my face with the icy cold water. It awakened my senses, and I began to realize that I was in fact a part of reality.

I quickly cut off the water and turned to face Karkat. He looked so simple in his wallflower stance. He was wearing a pair of long black sweatpants with a tattered t-shirt that seemed to be from his old school. His messy black hair was just below his ears and stuck out around his forehead, though it still gave revelation to his sleepy features. The tired look on his pale face was somewhat appealing... I could even call it attractive.

"Feel better?" He mumbled, turning his head to look at me. I was temporarily frozen as I took note of his every detail, then I finally mustered the courage to speak to him again.

"Yeah... I just can't believe all of this happened on my first day. I'm kind of ashamed of myself..." I replied, crossing my arms nervously as he confronted me. We were face to face, almost nose to nose. He furrowed his eyebrows in an almost loving fashion as he studied me in my timid stance, and quickly glanced away when I tried to make eye contact.

"I just don't want to see you get hurt by someone like Dave. That's all." He muttered, beginning to back away from me. I let out an exasperated breath, following him until I was close enough to pull him into a tight hug. He deserved it. I knew that he had been emotionally neglected, and I simply wanted to help him.

He seemed to be stuck in place from the absolute shock of receiving a loving gesture from another human being. It only lasted a moment before he wrapped his arms around me just a tightly, and I leaned my head against his chest.

His heartbeat had accelerated, and I managed a small sheepish smile as I glanced up at him. This was the part of Karkat that I knew I could easily fall for. I knew that I had to be careful... But part of me wanted to slip up and end up in his arms like this once again.

He caressed my warm cheek with his cold hand, tilting my head up so he could look into my eyes. I was slightly shorter than him, just as I was with Dave. I had to hold my head up a little bit higher to look into his dull eyes.

"I don't give a shit about what Dave thinks, you're mine." He suddenly spat out, shoving me up against the wall. He took me by surprise, pulling me into a hungry kiss. I wasn't protestant or reluctant at all. I moved my lips against his with equal fire and passion. Could I be falling for someone unexpected... Or for someone entirely new?

His hands wandered through a split in the towel, and he began trailing his fingers along the surface of my skin and kissing the bridge of my nose. He finally managed to stop after a minute or so, and began to speak. "If you don't want me, you better fucking tell me now. I don't play games." He grumbled, resting his hands on my hips and glancing down at me.

"I never said I didn't want you... This is just a little sudden." I explained truthfully, trying to ignore the growing aches and pains in my stomach. I felt myself beginning to sweat, and I knew what it amounted to.

I sprinted straight for the toilet behind us, kneeling over it and immediately puking my guts up from all of the alcohol my body had absorbed. Karkat's eyes widened and he walked up behind me, pushing my hair away from my forehead and grimacing. It seemed to just keep going until I was coughing up nothing but water.

My throat was on fire, and my head was throbbing. I finally regained some of my strength and stood up to flush the toilet. I was embarrassed that I had done that in front of Karkat, but I figured that after all we had been through today that he probably didn't care.

"Let's just get you to bed." Karkat suggested, putting an arm around my shoulders once again. He was entirely too right. I needed a good night's sleep.

* * *

Hi guys! I know it's been a few days, but I've been somewhat busy and I finally got this chapter finished! I hope you enjoyed the drama and romance I threw in there for you! Please follow, favorite, and review for an update! Thanks for the support.


	5. 5: The Walls

Loathe and Passion

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5: The Walls

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 **DISCLAIMER: Story will include drug/alcohol use, and rating may change if sexual content is included. Story includes ideologically sensitive material and descriptions of mental illnesses and self harm.**

 **Pairings (SO FAR): Karkat/John, Tavros/Gamzee**

 **AU: HUMAN!STUCK Mental Institution**

 **Characters will be gradually introduced.**

* * *

— No POV —

* * *

"Mom... mommy, please wake up... get up momma."

Tears rolled down his tanned cheeks as he whimpered out his words, and his sweaty hair clung to his forehead. Blood had stained the flannel sheets, and the woman's body was motionless. He knew he was going to be next. But for young Tavros, he wasn't scared anymore. He was ready for release. He was ready to go with his mother.

Though she wasn't his biological parent, she had taken him in as her own from an infant and raised him to the best of her ability. Tavros was too young to understand and appreciate the struggles of a mother who was desperate to protect her child in a domestically violent home. It was more than violent for little Tavros.

He had turned twelve just about four weeks ago, but the only present he had received was a brutal beating from his "father". It wasn't only physical abuse. Sexual abuse, verbal abuse, and manipulation from the tall, heavyset man seemed to be normal for Tavros. He tried to keep an optimistic outlook on life, even with a broken spirit and shattered dreams.

Gamzee was homeless once again, or as he would say "On the motherfucking road". His hands were tucked into the pockets of his sweatpants, and his worn down shoes squeaked as he made his way through the seemingly perfect suburban neighborhood.

It was one of those white picket fence neighborhoods where the houses all seemed identical and were lined up behind cement sidewalks. It was blissful with the sound of laughing children, chirping birds, and screaming. Screaming?

Gamzee stopped walking and looked around to see where the noise was coming from. He tilted his head up, staring into a cracked window of a home beside of him. A small, defenseless kid was fighting for his life. A large man had a knife in his hand, and was ready to end it all for the child in front of him.

Gamzee's eyes widened, and he grabbed his pocket knife from the mesh pouch of his backpack that he carried. He dropped his luggage at the side of the front door and rocketed inside. He followed the echoes of the screams coming from above, his shoes nearly falling off as he trotted up the stairs and towards an open door.

He lounged towards the male, getting him in a tight headlock and spinning their bodies towards the edge of the room. Tavros was in absolute shock, lying on the cold hardwood flooring in a puddle of his own blood. He managed to turn his body somewhat, watching someone actually challenge his father before his very eyes.

Gamzee had been in many fights throughout his fourteen years of existence, but this was by far the most dangerous. It was obviously the most painful as well, considering he was fighting someone twice his size. He suddenly groaned as the air was literally knocked out of his lungs. His body had been slammed up against the wall, and the well-dressed, average looking man dropped his knife to the ground so he could tighten his grip on Gamzee's neck.

Tavros was weak and feeble at this point from the torment he had just experienced, but not too pained to avenge his family and save this stranger's life. He managed to crawl towards the bloody knife, dragging himself across the floor. He left a trail of bloody handprints behind him, and he finally grabbed it with a trembling hand. He inched closer to his father, biting down on his lip as he began to aim for the artery located in the thigh region. He was physically shaking, but he didn't care. He knew what he had to do. He stood up with his remaining strength, and struck his adoptive father in the leg, leaving the knife heavily impaled in the skin.

Gamzee coughed loudly and gasped for air as soon as he was released, then glanced down at the tiny brunette with wide eyes. The man who had attacked them obviously fell backwards to the ground in agonizing pain, making the fatal mistake of removing the knife from the deep injury and allowing the blood squirt out, then to flow freely. He shouted loudly both in pain and as a desperate plea for help, but it was too late. He was growing weaker by the minute. Sirens from emergency services could be heard from the distance, and Gamzee turned his head to study the two dead bodies in the room.

"Are you okay?" He muttered softly, confronting the frozen boy.

"I don't know... I killed him... He's dead. I killed him." Tavros whined out, shaking his head in absolute disbelief that he had just murdered someone.

Blood was everywhere. It had splattered on the walls, there were puddles and both hand and foot prints all over the floor. It was all over everyone's clothes, including Gamzee's.

"It's going to be okay, come here. My name is Gamzee. The guy was a motherfucking psychopath, you did what you had to do." The tall messy-haired teenager explained, kneeling down on the ground and pulling the weak Tavros into a comforting embrace.

Tavros felt his heartbeat accelerate, and several tears fall to the floor beneath him. "My name is Tavros... Thank you for what you did." Tavros whispered, curling up in Gamzee's arms for the first time. It felt somewhat relieving to be held close for a change.

* * *

— John's POV —

* * *

When I opened my eyes, I was safe and sound inside of the dorm once again. Karkat had fallen asleep beside of me in the small bottom bunk. His mouth was still clinging open and his shirt had been removed. I managed a gentle smile and curled into a fetal position in front of him, softly stroking his cheek to wake him.

It gave me warm and fuzzy feelings to know that he had remained close to me all night to reassure himself that I was alright. My train of thought was immediately put to a halt. I sat up in bed, and backed up against the wall as Karkat rolled off of the mattress and onto the floor.

Tavros was screaming at the top of his lungs, shaking violently, and sobbing uncontrollably. I had no idea why he was doing this, all I knew was that it was probably the reason he was sent here. Gamzee sprung to life from his previous peaceful slumber, grabbing Tavros's significantly smaller frame and pulling him into his loving arms.

He started slapping his face very lightly to try to bring him back to reality. "Wake up baby! You're dreaming again. It's okay, you're safe with me. You're okay. Come back babe, snap out of it. It's not real." He repeated, stroking Tavros's tearstained cheek.

Tavros opened his eyes fully, just trembling in Gamzee's embrace. Karkat sat on the floor silently, turning his head from the scene and burying his face into his palms. I watched with what I knew was a surprised look upon my face.

It was a very scary experience. I hated to see someone as sweet as Tavros suffer from such severe panic attacks, but Gamzee seemed to make it all better for him. "Gamzee... I killed him..." Tavros cried out, tightening his white-knuckle grip on Gamzee's shirt. I frowned, remaining quiet and still in the bed as to not disturb him further.

"It's going to be okay baby... I promise." Gamzee whispered against his ear, cradling him in his embrace and planting soft kisses to his temple. Tavros wiped his tears away, and his vision seemed to adjust as he studied the dull atmosphere surrounding him.

"John... Karkat... I'm sorry I woke you guys up." He stated softly, sniffling as he tried to calm himself.

"You didn't do anything wrong. It's okay." I replied, giving him the same genuine smile that he had always given me. He managed a small one himself, wiping his stray tears away with his shirt and letting out a weary sigh.

A loud series of knocks came from the door, and Karkat slowly emerged from his hideaway area beside of the bed. He pulled the door open, backing away on instinct as Rose LaLonde entered the room.

"John, come here. I need to talk to you for a minute." She muttered, curling her finger repetitively as she exited into the corridor in her matching kiddie pajamas. I furrowed my eyebrows and reluctantly followed her, pulling the door shut behind me.

The corridor was practically empty, besides a person or two heading towards the restroom or cafeteria. I ignored them, and took my attention back to her.

"If I find out about you hurting Dave again like you did last night, the consequences won't be pretty. I tried to be nice to you, but I've lost all respect for you now. I'm not afraid to fight. I'm definitely not afraid to go to jail. You better watch your back, because shit only gets more fucked up inside these walls." She growled threateningly, flipping me the middle finger before she strutted off in the opposite direction.

I felt a painful lump rise in my throat, and it was all too familiar. I rushed towards the restroom, ignoring the other occupants as I basically collapsed into a stall. I knew every self harm method and how to enact them. Even in a place meant to prevent it, I could find a way to do it.

Just knowing that I was the cause of someone else's pain, and knowing that someone I barely knew was mad at me made it seem as though I was falling into a downward spiral once again. I already knew that she was telling everyone what happened last night, and now everyone would be turned against me. I couldn't cope with my self-inflicted guilt.

I reached into the pocket of my jeans that Karkat had helped me put on last night, easing out a small lead pencil that I had lodged in there. I easily bent the clip in a circular motion until it broke off of the side, glaring at the sharpened edge I had created. My arms were already covered with severe cuts and scars, but I knew it would be safe to add a few additions. I had to. I had no choice.

* * *

— No POV —

* * *

"Fuck this." Dave grumbled, slamming his deck of cards down on the surface of the wooden table, then glancing up at Sollux with pure hatred visible in his eyes.

"Looks like you owe me a pack of cigarettes by the end of the week." Sollux snickered out teasingly, pushing his cards away and staring at all of the patients in the entertainment room.

A radio was blaring some upbeat, yet calming music, and a TV was playing silently from upon a shelf. The chairs were barely occupied. Three individuals were casually dancing around the room in a circle, and two guards stood at the opening of the room. A young girl, around the age of eleven, was lying on the ground drooling and sucking her thumb. It was all too normal in this place.

"So... Who won this time?!" A short girl asked perkily, kneeling on the ground beside of the table and grinning happily.

Her name was Nepeta Leijon. Nepeta had no remaining family, or anyone who wanted her at all. She was "too odd" to belong to a family. Nepeta had a few quirky qualities that seemed to misplace her, and they were nearly all her own preference. Nepeta was a cat, or so she thought. Nepeta preferred catlike behavior, because everyone loves cats, right? That wasn't the feature that seemed to ruin her life, though. Nepeta had a fascination with blood, gore, and homicide. This ultimately scared everyone in her life that could have given her the love and support she needed to thrive, to obviously abandon her. But, in this place, she was accepted as just another kid.

"I won, as usual. Are you surprised?" Sollux chuckled out, giving Dave a sneaky grin, and ruffling Nepeta's short chestnut colored waves of hair.

"Geez, I don't get why Dave even tries anymore!" She giggled out, rubbing her body against Sollux in a friendly, kitty-like fashion.

"I don't see why I try either. Speak of the devil..." Dave murmured under his breath, examining John as he entered the room with Gamzee, Tavros, and Karkat. John turned his head to look at Dave, but immediately glanced away when he realized that Dave was already staring at him.

Gamzee took in a deep breath and leaned against the wall, placing an arm around Tavros's shoulder. "I can already smell the tension in the air. Today's gonna be a long fucking day..."

* * *

Hi guys! I know this chapter isn't as long as it should have been, but hopefully I'll have something pretty big planned out for the next one! Please follow, favorite, and review for the next chapter. Thank you guys so much to all of your support, it means the world to me!


	6. 6: Rivalry

Loathe and Passion

* * *

6: Rivalry

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER: Story will include drug/alcohol use, and rating may change if sexual content is included. Story includes ideologically sensitive material and descriptions of mental illnesses and self harm.**

 **Pairings (SO FAR): Karkat/John/Dave, Tavros/Gamzee**

 **AU: HUMAN!STUCK Mental Institution**

 **Characters will be gradually introduced.**

* * *

— No POV —

* * *

"Karkat... I don't think this is a good idea." John stated, glaring over at his new boyfriend with fear visible in his eyes. He felt his anxiety levels simply accelerate as they stepped further towards the circular table.

Dave was sitting in his usual spot beside of Rose, his arms crossed on top of the table and plate pushed away. "If that idiot says anything I'll knock his fucking teeth down his throat." Karkat growled, dropping his tray on the surface of the table with a thud and taking a seat.

John gulped, but reluctantly decided to join Karkat. What could go wrong? John scooped some peas away from a corner of his tray, then dropped the fork on the table. He sighed softly, trying to ignore the silent tension that began to rise at the table.

"You've got fucking nerve." Dave hissed softly, tilting his head up to make eye contact with Karkat.

"What are you gonna fucking do?! I was sitting at this goddamn table before you even had a reason to fucking ending up here." Karkat spat out, standing up with an unbelieveable amount of speed that hardly anyone surrounding them could comprehend.

Dave stood up equally as fast, removing his sunglasses and handing them to Rose. "I'll kick your fucking ass, that's what I'll do." Dave retorted, rolling his sleeves up and getting dangerously close to Karkat.

The surrounding patients immediately quietened down and watched in amazement as the drama began to unfold. "Guys, stop it! This is stupid and unnecessary!" John cried out, shoving them away from each other and standing between them. The two rivals eyed each other from their short distance, waiting patiently for their opportunity to throw punches.

"I didn't expect a fight today." Terezi snickered out, turning to face Aradia, who had an unamused, yet worried look upon her face. The entire cafeteria had been quietened to nothing but whispers and occasional screams of violent encouragement.

"What the fuck do you see in him? He's trash. I could give you the relationship you deserve to have. I would never say or do anything to hurt you." Dave pleaded, turning John to face him halfway through his speech.

Karkat shook his head, placing a hand on John's shoulder protectively. "Keep your filthy hands off of my boyfriend. He doesn't fucking like you or he'd be dating you." Karkat responded, glancing over John's shoulder at Dave, who shoved John away softly and lounged himself forward.

"Oh shit, those motherfuckers are actually fighting each other!" Gamzee exclaimed, standing up on top of his seat to get a full view of the chaos that was sure to ensue. Dave slung his fist into Karkat's face, knocking him back against a vending machine.

John's jaw dropped in horror, and the entire space seemed to spin as all of the patients crowded around eagerly to get a peek of the fight. Screams of excitement, and screams of shock echoed throughout the large cafeteria. He didn't know what to do, and he wasn't sure why this had happened. Then he realized... It was all his fault.

Karkat quickly made his comeback, elbowing Dave in the chest and ambushing him with a series of unexpected, powerful punches. Dave stumbled around helplessly until he finally managed to duck, dodging one of Karkat's throws and sending a hard blow to his lower jaw.

John shoved through the crowd, knocking people out of his way until he could finally step into the middle of the fight. "Stop before someone really gets hurt!" He shouted, holding Karkat back and examining Dave's bloody nose and busted lip.

"Dave, you're bleeding! It looks bad!" John whimpered out, slowly releasing the weakened Karkat and confronting the injured blonde. Dave dabbed the blood away with the sleeve of his hoody, shaking his head furiously.

The crowd parted down the middle, creating a path for a mysterious man that John had never seen before. He had a tall, slim physique, with a neatly done hairstyle and a very serious facial structure. He wore a simple dress shirt and black pants, allowing a large set of keys to dangle from the loops of his belt. "What happened here, boys?" The strange man questioned, crossing his arms.

"Fuck..." Karkat whispered to himself, staring back and forth between John and Dave. Only Karkat knew what was to come of this situation. Mr. Romero Bates didn't exactly possess an easygoing persona.

If anything, he belonged in the asylum himself. Everyone knew to stay alert. Everyone knew to stay cautious. Most importantly, though, everyone knew to watch their back, because Mr. Bates had an evil soul. He was infamously known to do weird, twisted, creepy shit to some of his disobedient patients, and he never hesitated to maintain order.

"Nobody is going to tell me what happened?" Mr. Bates repeated calmly. The entire cafeteria was quiet enough to hear a pen drop. Even the cooks and janitors were frozen in place, watching with silent interest. John gulped, suspecting that this man was a powerful figure. He knew that this was going to end badly. "You three, follow me." Mr. Bates ordered, turning in the opposite direction and sliding his hands into his pockets.

* * *

— John's POV —

* * *

The office was gloomy. The walls were painted a dark gray, and a few pieces of artwork and some awards were added as accents. There was a long wooden desk with a laptop, and a few seats beside of a bookshelf.

I felt like a little kid stuck in the principal's office. I used to be a delinquent in a way, always pulling pranks and starting silly shenanigans during my early years. Some of my old teachers were probably somewhere in this facility because of me, but even I knew that it wasn't my fault. They needed to get a sense of humor.

We sat there obediently on the sofa with three seats, waiting for Mr. Bates to return. I followed the hands of the clock as they slowly moved, enjoying the rare, peaceful silence between us. Finally, the door creaked open.

He stepped inside and closed the door behind him. A lock clicked into place, and he dropped a cardboard box on the carpeted flooring beside of the desk. He took a seat in his tall office chair, spinning from side to side and studying us all intensely.

Being the anxious, vulnerable kid I was, I was ultimately intimidated. "I'm going to ask you a few questions so we can get to the bottom of this mess. Let's begin, shall we? Why did this fight happen?" He pondered, chewing on the thick eraser of a pencil that he had placed behind his ear.

"Karkat was in my face when he shouldn't have been." Dave replied carelessly, crossing his arms behind his head and flipping his hair away from his forehead. I rolled my eyes at his comment, rubbing my temples exhaustedly.

Mr. Bates simply nodded, standing up and placing the box in his seat. A few things rattled around inside as he searched for whatever item he was looking for. I didn't think anything of it until he pulled out a large carved piece of wood with some thick chains dangling from the end.

My eyes widened when I realized what was about to happen to us. We had no access to a cell phone so that we could call for help, nobody would be willing to face this man to defend us, and honestly, I doubted that anyone would really care if this happened to us anyways. We were just misplaced people in a cruel world.

"Since we all want to inflict pain on each other, then we will certainly make some arrangements." He stated, brushing his knuckles along the edges of the chains and looking back and forth between us.

"Come here blue eyes. Since you seem to be in the middle of this ordeal, and a team player for these two, we can start with you. To see someone they care about suffer will change their mindset on fighting." He instructed, motioning me towards the desk. I gulped, my body tensing up as I mentally and physically prepared myself to be beaten.

"This shit is illegal, you can't fucking beat him! I won't let you!" Dave growled, standing up speedily in front of the couch. Mr. Bates turned around immediately, whacking Dave in the head with the heavy stick. It immediately knocked him backwards, causing him to collapse onto the sofa once again.

"You're under my roof. My roof, my rules. Maybe you two will learn the consequences of your actions. Don't think he's the only one getting beaten either." The tall man murmured, rotating his body somewhat so that he was facing me. "Take your shirt off and bend over the desk."

My eyes began to water, my heart pounded, and my body began to tremble. I knew I would be in excruciating pain, but I knew I was strong enough to endure it. There was even a possibility of me enduring the pain of Dave and Karkat's lashes as well, but I wasn't sure if my body could handle it all at once.

I pulled my sweater off and dropped it beside of me, trying to clear my mind and relax so it wouldn't hurt as much. I quickly looked over my shoulder, catching a glimpse of a tear rolling down Karkat's cheek. He really did care about me.

Suddenly, my entire body seemed to freeze. Pain jolted through me like lightening. I felt blood trickling down spine and leaking into the fabric of my jeans. I was struck again, but with much more force. I cried out loud, my body jerking on impact. I felt as though I could cripple over in agony, but I stayed strong for Karkat and Dave. They had given me a sense of security I couldn't get from anybody else, and that's how I knew it would be worth the pain. I was going to push my body to it's limits. I felt as though nothing could numb my broken senses.

* * *

"I can't believe you took my beating, and Karkat's. Don't ever fucking do something like that." Dave lectured, rubbing some cream on my back to help my deep, nearly fatal wounds heal. We had restricted the blood flow with an old T-shirt and a towel, and had moved onto the medical procedures.

"Goddamn... He really does torture people." Gamzee said, shaking his head as he rolled over onto his side on his bottom bunk. He was puffing on a freshly lit cigarette and watching as Dave wiped away blood and residue from my injured back, but out of all of the things I noticed, I noticed that he was unusually quiet and serious about this situation. Tavros was fast asleep beside of him, curled into an angelic fetal position.

"Fuck that motherfucker. I swear, if he tries to do this shit again, I'm pulling out some shitty makeshift weapon on him." Karkat retorted, kneeling down in front of me and kissing my flushed cheek. My body was very weak, useless, and overall drained at this point. I was sweating, yet the cold air coming in from the open barred window made me tremble and ache. I had removed my glasses so I could lie down comfortably.

I had also did away with my bloodstained jeans and kept my thick sweater off, allowing my wounds some room to heal. Dave had covered me up, and had stayed in the dorm with me since we had arrived from the office. Speaking of the incident, I was so brutally beaten once I had insisted on taking Dave and Karkat's lashes, that I was left completely motionless and half-dead. All I could do was mumble for help and cry as my vision blurred from blood loss, and my back ached and stung with blood and sweat.

It was by far the most terrifying and most painful experience of my life. Karkat took my hands into his own, kissing them and staring into my eyes in an amorous fashion. I smiled sheepishly at him, closing my eyes and finally relaxing. I was definitely traumatized, but with a mindset like mine, not much came as a shock to me. I had a feeling that this wouldn't be the end of my suffering...

* * *

Hi guys! I finally got this chapter finished. Yes, this story is beginning to take it's darker turn. The rating will more than likely change to M during the next chapter, so be aware that the story will contain more violent and sexual content in newer chapters. Please follow, favorite, and review for the next chapter! Thank you guys for your support, it means the world to me!


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